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A Detailed Guide to How to Deal with Liars

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Everyone lies occasionally, either knowingly or unknowingly; almost one lies per day on average. Although not all these lies are harmful or serious. But the real problem is that some people lie a lot, specifically serious lies that can put anyone in danger. That’s why you need to know all the details about lies and how to deal with them. Let’s get started.

Lies and Liars

Lies are false or misleading statements to omit or fabricate information. Lying can take several forms:

  • False Statement: Here, totally incorrect information is provided.
  • Exaggeration: Liar magnify or glorify small matters to convince others here.
  • Half-Truths: The most dangerous form of lying is mixing truths and lies. It’s harder to prove and deal with.
  • Omission: Here, some information is omitted to create a false impression.
  • Bluffing: Statements without any knowledge or evidence used here for taking advantage.
  • Misleading Body Language: Sometimes non-verbal movements or signs can mislead others.

Liars or lies can be categorized as these types:

  • Pathological Liars: Here, the liars constantly lie without any apparent reason.
  • Compulsive Liars: Compulsive liars lie out of habit.
  • Sociopathic Liars: Sociopaths lie to harm or manipulate others for their own joy.
  • Occasional Liars: They lie sometimes but try to repent their actions.
  • Protective Liars: Here, people usually lie to protect themselves or others.
  • White Liars: It’s usually harmless; people tell this lie to maintain harmony.

How to Deal with Liars

Dealing with liars can be a bit of a longer process. For ease of understanding, we can divide them into four different stages:

Lie Identifying

The first stage in dealing with liars is to identify who the liar is and what is considered a lie. This stage includes:

  • Recognise the Liar: It’s not that easy to identify a liar, but there can be some subtle changes when they lie. For example, emotionally strong liars tend to give fake smiles every time they lie to make the lies credible. Emotionally weaker liars usually avert their eyes while speaking. And most liars often touch their nose or any part of the face subconsciously while lying. But don’t jump to conclusions after seeing these signs; put them on the priority list and check for proof.
  • Checking Patterns and Reason Analysis: If you recognise who is lying to you, check for their lying pattern to see what type of lies they usually tell and why they are lying. Look for the reasons to see if they’re aware of the lies or if they’re just doing it without knowing. Specifically, check if their lies are harmful to you or others in any way.

Confronting Liars

The second stage of dealing with liars is to stand up to them about their lies. This stage includes:

Gather Proof: Even if you know someone is a liar, you need any type of proof to confront them. Make sure to gather proof on such a topic that they can’t deny that proof either. The proof can be text, picture, video, or any other kind of document.

Have a Talk: When you have enough proof in your hands, meet with that person privately and ask about the lie as if you misunderstood it. However, make sure to approach them sincerely to avoid any kind of scene. 

Prove Lies: If they still deny their lies, now it’s time to show that you have enough proof. It will catch them off-guard, and they’ll accept the accusation in most cases.

Ask Reasons: Don’t get too rude after you’ve shown them the proof; ask them nicely why they lie. There’s a chance that their lies are white lies or protective lies. Ask them about the benefit they got from deceiving you.

Explain Your Standing and Advice: Now it’s time to tell about how the lies affected you and your trust. If their intentions weren’t bad, tell them that you want to help them so that they can stop lying to you. And if they have bad intentions, recommend them for psychological therapies or any other type of help that’ll make them better. Show everyone that you still care.

Dealing with Consequences

The 3rd stage is to deal with the consequences of your actions against the liar. Not everyone wants to lie. So, many of the liars will take your advice or get moved by your kindness and repent their actions with a changed habit or better patterns of behavior than before. If they change in a better way, you can continue your relationship with them and give them a second chance. However, if they don’t change much or you’re stressed out that they can harm you again, it’s best to avoid them.

Future Encounters

The liars you decide to avoid eventually, you may encounter them sometimes. In this stage, you have to keep in mind two main things. They are:

Stay Cautious: Stay cautions, as they can lie again. Whatever they state, check it several times to be sure. But don’t get too nervous about dealing with them again; be confident. Make sure you’re not dealing with them alone; try to include at least one more person; it’ll boost your confidence a lot.

Establish Boundaries: Don’t get too carried away if you see the liar getting over-friendly and trying to win you over for their benefit. Trust your gut and keep boundaries, even if you need to spend a lot of time together because of jobs or studies.

Conclusion

No matter how serious lies others tell, always be clean from your side. Don’t be rough with them, as that’ll count as bad. Don’t accuse them publicly; try to fix things privately at first. And make sure to always keep documents of conversation; even if you talk verbally, it’ll be best to record them. If you’re feeling too lost about things, you can ask a psychologist for advice.

 

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