Have you recently cheated and are guilty about it? Do you want your partner to take you back and have a healthy relationship? Then you have to work REALLY hard to regain their trust and intimacy. Surviving infidelity in a relationship is not everyone’s cup of tea. However, it’s worth the weight in gold for both your relationship and yourself. If you can’t survive, you can’t thrive.
If you are confused about how to survive infidelity, this is the ultimate guide for you. Know that there’s no general approach to relationships. But we are not generalising. We are giving you a universal approach through which you can make proper communication and foster understanding.
We studied different relationships and analysed all the different steps when rebuilding a relationship brick-by-brick. So read on and save your love life.
Step-by-step Guide on How to Survive Infidelity.
Surviving your infidelity can be challenging. Ensure that you understand the depth of your actions and tread carefully. Rebuilding your partner’s trust will be hard. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you navigate this difficult journey.
Figure Out Whether You Are Remorseful
After cheating, you may be overcome with guilt. This is a good thing since it indicates you are not pushing the blame on someone else
However, it may also indicate you are more affected by your actions than how they affected the relationship. Ask yourself why you cheated and what led to that behaviour. Examine your motivations for wanting to recover the relationship. Are you genuinely committed to change and personal growth? Or are you motivated by guilt or fear of losing your partner?
Acknowledge Your Actions
After understanding that you are committed, be responsible for your actions. Understand that you hurt your partner deeply with your actions and ask for forgiveness sincerely.
Initiate a conversation with your partner about your infidelity. Be honest, open, and prepared for their emotional response. Let them express their feelings and concerns without interruption.
As you discuss the affair, avoid blaming your partner, circumstances, or anyone else for your actions. You must realise that you made your choices. No one forced you, even if there were precursory incidents. Cheating wasn’t the only option. So, own up to your choices.
End the Affair Completely
If the affair is ongoing, you must end it immediately and unequivocally. Block all contact with the other person.
Cut Off All Contact With the Affair Partner
Throughout the rebuilding of your relationship, ensure there is no residual contact with the person you cheated with. This is vital to rebuilding trust.
Reveal All Details of the Affair
If or when your partner is ready, they may ask to see the texts, photos, and other traces of the communication with explicit details. You must disclose these because your partner is very sensitive about these details. They may even ask for your passwords and logins. Once again, you must comply.
There is a limit to this controlling behaviour and invasive actions. Some continue to ask for all your credentials and passwords after years, even after you have stayed faithful. It might imply that your partner has acquired permanent trust issues. To save the relationship, you may ask them to work on their recovery. Should they be unwilling, then you may choose to part ways.
Address What Led to the Affair
Of course, cheating has no excuse. However, unless you have a history of cheating, your wrongful deed was likely an emotional response. So, if you had any needs unmet or felt hurt by something, then discuss it.
Be Patient With Recurring Prodding Into the Past Affair
Your partner may take a while to process the cheating. At first, there’s the effect of shock, for which they may not ask much. But later, they will start slowly uncovering every layer of information they were presented at first.
They might want to analyse all the data, emotions, etc. behind the affair. It’s best not to hold these thoughts back as they may keep building. This is worse for you, as they may make assumptions based on these ongoing thoughts. So it’s best if you listen to them and respond or answer as necessary.
Reflect and Self-Examination
Take a close look at yourself and your actions. Identify the factors that led to your infidelity and the problems in your relationship. Be honest with yourself and willing to work on improving yourself.
Consider Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes, rebuilding trust and intimacy after infidelity may require professional help. A therapist can help you navigate this difficult journey, address underlying issues, and improve communication and understanding within the relationship.
Rebuild Trust and Intimacy
Rebuilding trust and intimacy takes time and consistent effort. Be transparent, honest, and patient with your partner. Show them that you are committed to the relationship by being present, supportive, and understanding.
Continue working on yourself and your relationship every day. Celebrate small victories together and remember to be kind to each other throughout this process.
Practice Forgiveness and Let Go
Forgiveness is the crucial key to rebuilding a relationship after infidelity. It requires both partners to let go of negative emotions and choose to move forward. It’s not about forgetting or excusing the behaviour but instead making a profound choice to focus on healing and building a brighter future together.
Helpful Tips on Surviving Infidelity
Infidelity is a painful and challenging experience, but with the right approach and mindset, you can overcome it. Here are some helpful tips to remember:
Seek Support From Trusted Friends and Family
Having a support system is crucial when dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. Reach out to trusted friends and family who can provide emotional support, advice, and a non-judgemental ear.
Take Care of Yourself
Dealing with infidelity can be emotionally and physically draining. Make sure to take care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you stay positive.
Be gentle with yourself during this difficult time. Infidelity can take a toll on one’s self-esteem and confidence. You can practice self-compassion by acknowledging your feelings without judgment and reminding yourself that you are not defined by this one mistake.
With Patience, Let Yourself Forgive
Forgiveness is a process and cannot be rushed. Allow yourself the time to heal and forgive at your own pace. Remember that forgiving does not mean forgetting. It means choosing to move forward without holding onto resentment.
Hit the Gym
Exercise can be a healthy outlet for your emotions and also has the bonus of improving mood and reducing stress. Consider incorporating regular physical activity into your routine to help you cope with the aftermath of infidelity.
Reconnect With Yourself
Infidelity can often lead to a loss of self-identity and self-worth. Take time to reconnect with yourself and your interests, hobbies, and values. It will help you rebuild your sense of self and provide strength during this challenging time.
Seek Individual Counselling
In addition to couples therapy, seeking individual counselling can also be beneficial. A therapist can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to process your emotions, reflect on the relationship, and work on personal growth and healing.
Be Open to Rebuilding Trust
Trust is crucial in any relationship, but it takes time to rebuild after infidelity. Be open to the process and show your partner that you are committed to regaining their trust through consistent actions and communication.
Communicate Your Needs
Throughout this process, it’s important to communicate your needs to your partner. Let them know what you need in order to feel safe, secure, and supported. This will help improve understanding and prevent misunderstandings in the future.
Let Go of Blame
It’s easy to get caught up in blaming yourself or your partner for what happened. However, this will only cause further damage to the relationship. Instead, focus on taking responsibility for your actions and finding constructive ways to move forward together.
Be Ready for Emotional Explosions
Rebuilding trust and intimacy after infidelity can be an emotional rollercoaster. Be prepared for potential arguments, tears, and difficult conversations as you work through the aftermath. Remember to remain calm, empathise with your partner’s feelings, and communicate openly and effectively.
Nothing Beyond Than Stay Positive
Maintaining a positive attitude is paramount throughout this journey. Believe in the incredible strength of your relationship, shifting your focus to rebuilding rather than dwelling on past mistakes. With patience, open communication, and unwavering commitment, it is truly possible to overcome infidelity and forge a stronger, healthier bond.
Let’s stay positive and continue moving forward towards an even brighter future together.