If you are a man, it is highly probable that you would not suspect your partner of committing adultery in the physical sense. It may be that on the surface she appears disinterested in sex with you so it would be normal to process this mentally that “she is not interested in sex” generally. Secondly, she may tick all the boxes in terms of her role and responsibilities in the relationship like looking after children, maintaining the household or being career focused. Numerous studies have proven that men can get divorced without any knowledge whatsoever of extra marital affairs that occurred.
In modern relationships and from our experience where infidelity has occurred there are certain patterns of behaviour from which we can draw some level of conclusion whilst always being mindful that every circumstance is different and each individual case has its own unique contributing factors.
Often the woman will be eager for the union to be confirmed through marriage, once this milestone has been reached they will often feel they have got what they want and disengage in sexual contact with the partner. Emotionally, unfaithful women and unfaithful men are entirely different in how they process emotions and as the initial “honeymoon” period has began to diminish and day to day stress e.g. pressure from work, financial and child care can prompt them to feel that they need to escape this life.
Adultery in the most common form exists as a misguided escape from the routine in terms of managing your family, house and career. Emotional fantasies can often then develop over a period of time as they are being used as respite from a monotonous day to day cycle. They can quickly develop into sexual contact from a passionate kiss to full sexual intercourse. It is quite possible that the motivation would be in some way blaming the partner and after failed attempts to end the affair they then move forward to end the marriage regardless as root cause is assumed to be the marriage.
Currently women are initiating 70 – 75% of all divorces
Unfaithful Men in our experience were more likely to be committing infidelity due to thrill seeking, carelessness under the influence (involvement of drugs and alcohol is frequent) and as a distraction from unaddressed issues within themselves and the relationship. We have found in many cases that the man was more likely to be assuming the affair will not end their marriage as they tried to cover tracks and see it that they are satisfying a need which is not being met by their partner. This is a false perception and rather than talk openly with their partner they find it more difficult to process these emotions to formulate a point of discussion and unlike women, are more likely to pursue the affair to resolve a physical need than an emotional one.
In both cases, there is an underlying root cause which prevent the situation from being a resolved rather than decree absolute and that is that the lies were not detected, not confronted and the relationship has broken down. We find in a high number of cases which we handle, they have reached the point of needing our intervention to expose the lies so that the truth can then shine through the darkness. Their is then hope that the relationship can still be reconciled, particularly where here are children involved.
The simple reason the relationship can be reconciled is that with the removal of lies the ego can be flattened thus both partners are humbled by the truth. They will then begin to realise what they had and draw comparison to what on the face looked like an escape but was a fantasy and in fact is a prison in their own mind. We see this as a moment of enlightenment for our clients.
At Lie Detector Test UK Services, we offer infidelity and sexual contact tests for couples in addition to individuals and regardless of being the accused or the accuser if you take the polygraph test together then you can flatten the ego and have a chance to start again.
Please feel free to speak to our support team on 0203 9651755, we are active listeners and all communication is strictly confidential.
