The task of navigating the aftermath of infidelity can be considered to be an emotionally charged and complex journey that is bound to take on various challenges and stages. Right from the initial stage of finding out that your partner has been unfaithful in the marriage to the long process of healing and building trust, every step will require careful consideration. In certain cases, individuals will also opt for professional guidance.
So, whether you will be looking to better cope with the emotional aftermath resulting from infidelity, the significant role that counselling will be able to play, or better understand the various stages of infidelity, you have come to just the right place. In other words, you can consider this a comprehensive guide to provide support and clarity for those who will already be on the path to reconciliation and healing. So, if you and your partner are willing to continue and work on your marriage, you can consider going for infidelity counselling with a skilled couple or marriage counsellor.
Understanding the Infidelity Counselling Process
Every relationship can be considered to be unique, for which reason the healing process after infidelity will also vary. However, there are three main steps individuals can expect when going for infidelity counselling.
Trauma Phase
The trauma phase will come after the affair has been discovered. After that, it will be quite likely that the betrayed partner will feel trauma or shock once they have found out about the affair. In terms of emotions, they may be feeling hopeless, vengeful, and angry. Since both partners will be going through a rollercoaster of emotions, they will struggle to think during this stage.
Clarification of Issues
During this time, the partners will start examining cues that have led to the affair. Once partners understand why the affair has occurred, it can lead to closure. It will be at this point that enlisting the help of an infidelity counsellor might help. This stage can be considered stressful for both partners.
Addressing the Core Problem
Finally, this is the stage where the real work will begin. Since emotions will now be somewhat under control, partners can start working on the issues so that an affair may not occur again. So, if couples will be able to persevere through this phase, they will ultimately come out as winners.
What Are the Goals of Infidelity Counselling?
Agreeing What Has Happened
One major goal of infidelity counselling is to find out what has happened and that both parties will agree with it. If infidelity is the case, partners can move through the process of acknowledging, apologising, and understanding various situations that have led to an affair.
Going Through the Process of Building Trust
If both partners have already discussed and agreed upon the boundaries, they can expect the healing process to be less complicated. However, if both partners have differing views of cheating, they will first need to talk it out. At this stage, an infidelity counselor will be able to serve as a guide.
How Counselling Can Help After an Affair
There are certain benefits that couples will be able to receive if they decide to go for infidelity counselling. Some of them have been listed below.
Rebuilding Trust
Once a partner finds out that they have been cheated on, trust is the first thing that is shattered. Hence, with the help of infidelity counselling, it will help in providing a structured environment where the partners will be able to work with each other to regain and rebuild the shattered trust. In addition, counsellors will also be able to guide exercises and discussions that will help facilitate the trust-building process. In other words, infidelity counselling will primarily focus on helping partners find solace and comfort in each other, particularly when they have suffered a major setback like infidelity.
Improved Communication
Another aspect that infidelity counselling will be focusing on is enhancing communication skills. Since this will be a safe space, couples can learn how to express their concerns, feelings, and needs honestly and openly. This will ultimately help in fostering better connections and understanding between partners. Over the long run, they will understand that major and minor setbacks will be considered a part of life. So rather than thinking about ending a marriage to move on, infidelity counselling can help couples realise that infidelity is also an issue that can be worked through.
Emotional Healing
Infidelity counsellors will help couples and individuals to address the emotional wounds that have been caused by infidelity. They can provide the techniques and tools to cope with intense emotional reactions like betrayal, sadness, and anger. When these intense and regressive emotions are expressed safely and healthily, it can help individuals overcome the betrayal of an infidelity.
Infidelity Counselling – How Effective is It?
According to expert opinion, infidelity counselling can be considered an effective option if partners want to get over the betrayal of their trust being broken and if both partners intend to continue their marriage. This is because infidelity counselling has been specially designed to specifically address the needs of both partners so that they can heal and move on from infidelity. When couples treat the aftermath and causes of infidelity, they can work on their relationship to heal and repair the broken trust.
What Type of Therapy is Best for Infidelity?
Where infidelity is concerned, couples counselling will be considered the best option, particularly infidelity counselling. In other words, this can be considered the most helpful approach for couples looking to heal their relationship in certain instances where one or both partners have been unfaithful to each other.
On the other hand, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or individual therapy can also be helpful for those individuals who would like to work through their compulsive or addictive behaviours, like sex addiction, or if a partner will be facing difficulties with intrusive sexual behaviours, urges, desires, or thoughts that cannot be controlled.
Find the Right Counsellor
If you would like to make sure that you find the right infidelity counsellor for your marriage, there are some important tips that you can bear in mind:
- Conducting a self-evaluation so that you can understand yourself better before meeting with a therapist
- Get referrals and recommendations from friends and family members
- Specific qualifications
- Schedule a physical meeting with the counsellor to assess the counsellor’s style.
