Is There Hope for Pathological Liars to Change?

Home » Uncategorized » Is There Hope for Pathological Liars to Change?

When you deal with a pathological liar, even if it’s on a regular basis, the most important tactic you can master is to regulate your emotions. This is because changing the behaviour of the pathological liar is beyond your control. The only thing within your control is how you feel and react to any given situation. So, once you learn about changing your approach and emotions to a particular reaction, you will have many options.

In addition, if you are completely honest with yourself, you’ll soon realise that your happiness matters more than the other person’s behaviour.

Characteristics And Traits Of Pathological Liars

No Clear Benefit to the Lies

While a person might lie to escape an uncomfortable situation, this would not hold true for a pathological liar. A pathological liar would fabricate stories or lies without any objective benefit to themselves.

This can prove extremely frustrating for family and friends, as the liar would not stand to gain anything from the lies.

Lies Being Told Are Detailed, Complicated, and Dramatic

Pathological liars have been known to be brilliant storytellers. This is due to their lies being very colourful and detailed. Although some scenarios may be outrageous and over-the-top, you would find the pathological liar extremely convincing.

The Liar Portrays Themselves as Either the Victim or the Hero

A common theme in the stories told by pathological liars is that they cast themselves as either the hero or the victim. Moreover, pathological liars also tend to fabricate lies in an attempt to gain acceptance, sympathy, or admiration from others.

Liars Sometimes Believe the Lies They Are Telling

Pathological liars tend to tell stories that blur the line between delusion and conscious lying. As such, they may sometimes believe their own lies. Furthermore, pathological liars are also known to be natural performers. With their eloquence, they also know how to keep their listeners engaged when speaking. With originality and creativity, along with the ability to think on their feet, pathological liars can evade exhibiting the common signs associated with lying.

The First Step Towards Change Is Awareness

One of the first steps for dealing with emotional issues or pathological liars is awareness. When you become more aware of yourself, you can handle a situation without becoming upset.

The best way to understand this situation is to examine our social conditioning. In other words, our social conditioning allows us to become liars. So, when we become aware of how people are socialised, our expectations also change. As your expectations begin to change, so will the judgements in your mind. This helps dissolve your judgement without having any emotional reaction attached to it.

In the context of dealing with pathological liars, when you become aware that someone is lying to you and they have been socially conditioned to behave in this manner, you won’t take it personally. This provides you with an opportunity to deal with a particular situation in a calm and level-headed manner.

The Best Approach to Dealing With Pathological Liars

Another essential tip to keep in mind when dealing with pathological liars is expectation management. When you become aware of people’s social conditioning, you gain insight into the role of compassion. As your awareness and understanding expand, your judgement will also automatically dissolve. Be aware and honest enough to recognise the patterns people tend to face growing up. In addition, you should also be well aware of the consequences of telling the truth.

Your Role in a Relationship With a Pathological Liar

You will be responsible for doing your part in any relationship. This means recognising when you are being lied to. So, if you are upset when someone is lying to you, it would be unreasonable to expect that they can drop their years of social conditioning overnight and become a completely new person.

The harsh truth is that they are not the image you have conjured. So, when you want another person to behave according to your expectations, you only lie to yourself. This means that you would ultimately be setting yourself up for disappointment in the short and long run.

Setting Boundaries With Pathological Liars

Setting boundaries for yourself is an excellent approach to protecting your emotional reactions. In addition, using boundaries also means that you would be placing a threshold on what you would and would not like to believe. This means to stop believing everything that they would be telling you. Living by assuming that the pathological liar would be telling you the truth is another way of lying to yourself.


Final Thoughts

So, the bottom line is that it can become challenging for pathological liars to change. This is next to impossible unless they are willing to recognise their destructive patterns and behaviour and put in the work to become better versions of themselves. In that case, the best thing that you can do for yourself is set simple boundaries and dissolve all associated emotions.

Share Post:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin